Tips for divorcing couples

By Michael Daniel

1.     Defer long-term decisions – now is not the time to add stress.

I know of many people that make long-term decisions while going through divorce only to realize afterwards that they weren’t thinking clearly at the time.

You see, divorce disorients us.

Things that were familiar become strangers to us. So if possible, put off making that huge purchase or changing things that are dear to you. You already have enough stress in you’re life at the moment. Try to avoid adding new stress.

2.   Use this time as a chance to redefine yourself and question what is important to you and what you really want out of life?

Grief and stress can be used in a positive manner.

For me, divorce was a time to re-evaluate what I wanted out of life. A time to consider options that were not open to me earlier.

I also used the time to read self-help books, something I never did before.

Whatever your situation, only you can find what is right for you, try to find ways to improve your life, maybe a new career, maybe a new hobby. Maybe now is the time to adopt a healthier lifestyle.

Take control of your life and start taking the steps you’ve always wanted.

3.   If you’re going through a divorce, you’ve probably considered therapy.

So what exactly is therapy? See, I knew you would ask. ::smile::

There are several types of therapy. In fact, it’s amazing this one word has been applied to so many different types of activity.

The most common therapy is “talking” therapy. Freud is commonly credited with developing this school of thought. In it, a therapist asks questions about issues that affect you, and you then talk about the issue.

The idea is that the things you talk about are important and in the process you uncover your subconscious feelings and ideas. The therapist listens for clues and guides you to solving the problem.

Therapy is a method of adapting to changed circumstances and finding new coping mechanisms. It does require active effort and commitment on your part.

If you aren’t committed to or believe that the therapy you’re following will there is a high chance that it won’t. Therapy requires you to be open to new possibilities, new ideas about an existing situation. It can be liberating and very refreshing experience.

In therapy you may hear and experience new ideas, some of which are foreign to you existing views. At times, what you say will affect others and that’s OK. There will be times when you will admit mistakes you’ve made and other times you’ll celebrate achievements you may have not given yourself credit for, till now.

There are other types of therapy that are outside the scope of this short article but if you’re significantly bothered by an emotional or stressful issue it might be a good idea to find a therapy that works for you.